Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Countdown

Well, it was another quiet week here at the Barnes house. I ran 12 miles with Wendy on Saturday, and up at Mt. Peak on Sunday. I'm still fretting about Rock-n-Roll, which is silly, because I have no control over the weather. It will be what it will be and I will have to live with it. I have been suffering from FOMO (fear of missing out) as the last two weekends have had lots of races in our area. I've seen pictures and read reports, and so wished I was there! On the other hand, I'm still working my way through my recovery from the heat-related issues of the last marathon. It seems like it is taking a long time to bounce back, yet I am seeing incremental improvements. It often takes as long as six weeks after an episode to feel fully recovered. Like I said before, it's a good and not-so-gentle nudge to remind me of what I already know about my limitations.

The rest of my time has been taken up by the gradual closing of our program at the college. I have attended the last day of three preschool classes, a good-bye tea hosted by the college president, a wonderful gathering of coworkers, both past and present, to celebrate the retirement of Virginia, our program assistant, and also to celebrate the years of support and education for families that our program provided. The Parent Ed program has been supporting families in our area for 36 years. The amazing part of this story is that Virginia was there as a parent in the program when it started, as a college instructor until last year, and as the program assistant for the last several years. She has made a difference in the lives of hundreds of children and families over the years - a real cause for celebration. All the endings have been wonderful and bittersweet. I've heard it said several times over the last few weeks, that "without Parent Ed, our family would not be what it is today." I've found myself in the position of buoying the spirits of others, reassuring them that we made a difference and that yes, it is difficult and not what any of us wanted, but that we will all make it past this closure. I have worked hard to keep my equilibrium through it all. I've been packing up files for archive, and packing up my office, and today hosted the last teachers meeting, and the last staff luncheon, each adding to the emotional roller coaster that comes with the end of an era. Right now, I have a headache that won't quit, I suspect it is due to suppressed heartache. So, I have ten days left till my final day....

However, there is a bright side. There is that point that we've all heard about, the point where a door swings softly shut, bringing darkness to the room. But all the while, as the door is moving, another door is slowly swinging open, allowing a bit of light to creep in, till slowly, slowly, the room is filled with a soft glow. That is happening for me. I'm going to leave you right here, knowing there is more to come. Next week, I'll fill you in on what was on the other side of the door... and I'm ever hopeful that there will be a race to report on as well!

13 comments:

justrun said...

Aw, how bitter sweet! I am excited for what's to come for you!
And I will be doing some pre-race finger crossing from afar!

Emily said...

I know we are going to miss the preschool. Megan has gotten a lot of out it and I cannot get enough. I am so thankful for you for suggesting it on our trip to SF. There are so many times that I have to think back to what you, Virginia, or Candy have said.
Thank you so much!!!

craig said...

I know this closing is difficult on everyone. Can't think of a better person to help people through this difficult time than you. And you have me sitting on the edge of my chair with your cliff hanger ending. I had a feeling.....no I'll save that comment for your next post. :)

Thomas said...

Well, I for one am very curious about what is on the other side of that door ... so sorry about the closing of a very worthwhile project though!

Jenny, Maniac #401 said...

Ohhh, I love a cliff hanger!
Jenny

Irene said...

I'm glad you're getting the rest you do need, but I know too well of FOMO. Hang in there!

I had a similar work situation about 8 years ago. It's bittersweet, but, as you've said, there's another door already opening!

Take care.

Wes said...

Times are changing. There is a lot of sadness in a lot of people's lives right now. We have to remain strong, and hopeful.

Can't wait to hear about what's next. Recover strong!!

Darrell said...

You and your FOMO crack me up.

Hurray for opening doors. It will be fun to see what it is. (I feel like a contestant on Lets Make a Deal!)

runnerinsight said...

Just keep on pushing on! Keep the faith my friend! Hurrah too! for the new door of opportunities and challenges! (this is how I perceive it.) Keep the fire burning! : )

Bret said...

Hey you two! Make sure you mark the trail for the 50k with big signs that say "Detour...go this way!!" So Gail doesn't get lost. With only 15 50k runners Bret is a bit nervous about "Detour".

On the Rock and Roll....just run what you can...have fun and walk the rest. I bet it is pretty messed up run. Most these first year big marathons don't do very well. So its good not to try and be competitive on those...with others or your self.

Thanks again for marking the course. You two are good kids!

Anne said...

I completely understand the bittersweetness and emotional fronts that are a part of leaving and leadership. I'm glad to hear that it's no longer as dim as it first seemed. Looking forward to seeing what's behind Door No. 2.

Dori said...

At least you made a difference. Not everyone can say that.

I'm looking forward (read: scared to death!) to Seattle. Is there any chance we can get together at the expo?

Joe said...

Great post, Michelle. Your heart comes through, time and time again. And that will continue.

Looking forward to "the rest of the story"!!!