Long Run Lament

So here I am, being a good girl for once and not running any summer races. I'm actually sticking to the promise I made three years ago about avoiding running in the heat. I haven't gone to the Thursday night run since it's been warm, and I'm out early getting my miles in during the cool parts of the day. All good, right? However, as every good marathoner knows, I've got to keep my miles up. I mean, I'm used to doing one to two races a month and I don't want to lose that fitness. I have signed up for two fall marathons so far, so I've got to maintain in the meantime. All leading up to the long run...

I decided to take care of this by planning a 20 mile run around town for this morning. Jenny said she'd join me and we planned a 5:00 am start to avoid the heat. As luck would have it, it was cloudy and 53 degrees this morning - perfect! And all was well for the first 12 miles. We cruised along, sometimes chatty, sometimes quiet, just winding our way through parts of Puyallup. We ran into Lesa just as we hit mile nine, and ran a block with her before we turned off into the park where we typically run on Thursday nights. About halfway through the figure-eight, my chest started tightening up. We dropped the pace a bit, took an extra few seconds on the walk break, made sure to eat and drink, and started back up. My tight chest persisted. I changed the run/walk over to a 4/1 and we headed back across town. About mile 15 I told Jenny I was really bonking because my legs were so heavy and I was having trouble breathing. A short time later I felt it - the pain in my upper back, the cinched ribs, the inability to get a breath. Full fledged heart symptoms that I haven't felt since a year ago May.

This so frustrating! I know that it can and will happen, I know that I can manage it, I know that I am a strong runner and that when it happens I need to let go of my plans and accommodate. I know all this, but I have such difficulty doing it. Jenny and I discussed how hard-headed I can be, as we kept moving toward home. We took a route through the college that would give a mile of gentle downhill - and as I ran down, I could feel everything easing and I could breathe again. So...we decided to try a one mile lap around the lake (my stubbornness (or maybe obsession) strikes again). I switched the timer over to 1/1 and off we went. Not so good, everything came back. We lapped the lake and headed home - our house is about a half mile away. And we walked almost the entire way, ending the day with 19.23 miles.

Some will read this will not be able to understand what drives me. For that matter, I'm not sure I understand. There are moments when the frustration overwhelms me and I am ready to drop all long distances. Settle in at maybe the half marathon, or ten mile distance. But then I think, no. No. I can do this, I've been doing it for three and a half years, I love it, I love the distance and the challenge and I won't give it up till I have to. "Have to" is when there is evidence that it is damaging my heart, or when the natural and expected degradation of my defective valve won't allow me to run. Until then, I'll deal with the frustration, with the occasional bad episode, and I'll savor the good runs. Really, when I think about it, it's been over a year since I last had a bad day. That's pretty good.

In thinking over the factors that played into the run today, I suspect a few things. First, I didn't really take a break over our vacation like I thought I would. I ran more than expected (I had to counteract all the good food and beer), we hiked thirteen miles into the lodge, ran eight the next day and hiked thirteen back out. (Yes, my husband is a stud. He ran a 100 miler on Saturday-Sunday and we hiked five days later). I ended last week with 47.5 miles and already had 30 miles in for this week when we started our run this morning. I've also spent the last three weeks in high temperatures - ranging from the low 80s to over 100. Temperatures like that give me a knot in my chest whether I am running or sitting. I seldom have problems and run my best when it is 30 - 45 degrees, so even 53 is a bit warm for me. I guess the cumulative toll of too much heat and too much running caught up with me, or maybe it was too much running in too much heat. Jenny and I discussed it and decided a rest week is in order. I'll run no more than five miles a day this week, which will put me in the 25 mile range. We are supposed to have a bit cooler weather so that will help too.

Wow, if you are still reading, you are dedicated! Sometimes I write these posts to share, but sometimes, like today, I write them for me. I write to let go of frustration, and as a record for myself. I go back every now and then, and read over posts from the past to remind myself that my health has been worse, that I've dealt with these symptoms before and that I am still running. It's all good and I feel better now that I've written it out. I might even be able to keep the whine out of my voice when I talk to Eric in a bit. Thanks for letting me vent, and I'll see you out on the run!