50K Ponderings

Okay, so we've got a 50k this weekend. Autumn Leaves is a repeated five mile loop - Jenny and I are going to run together and use a 5/1 run/walk. It's going to be great going by the same aid station every five miles - lots of food, drink and clothing options that way. I'm going to wear my pack, but it won't be heavily loaded, which will be really nice.

I checked back on my last two 50k races - a 7:06 and a 7:05. Based on those times, we decided to take the early start at 6:00 am. Eric is running the 50k as well but won't need to start early. Rob and Steve are running the 50 mile version - I think they will be starting with us.

I've been reminded that I said I wasn't going to run this distance again. I know I said that. I can't give a solid explanation for why I am at it again. The joy of the run, the challenge of the distance, the camaraderie of the race, the glow of accomplishment - they are all part of it. I guess the other part is the need to conquer a distance that has beat me up. Something in me needs to run this distance till I've done it well - a little faster, a lot less pain, no heart stuff. And I know myself well enough to know that once I've done that, I'll have to do it a few more times to prove to myself it wasn't a fluke. I feel that way about the marathon too - I need to run a few feeling good from beginning to end - finishing strong instead of struggling.

I remember when Eric wanted to BQ. He worked and worked at it. He cramped up, he went out too fast, he hobbled for a few days following. Then he qualified, and I believe he has qualified at every single marathon he has run since. He finishes strong - even with negative splits. He runs across the finish line with a huge smile. He runs back a couple miles and runs in with me. He doesn't hobble around afterward anymore (just after 100s now). That's how I want to finish - strong. I want to feel like I could go back out for a few more miles instead of feeling the pressing need to sit down. I've made some strides - I feel good the next day, ready to run by Tuesday or Wednesday (depending upon blisters), but those last eight miles of the race are so tough. I have this idea that if I keep working at it, someday the second half will feel as good as the first half - I've got to run till that happens.

I remember, years ago, asking Eric if running four miles would ever feel easy. He assured me it would, and it does. Now a half feels easy. Someday a full will feel that way, and then the 50K. That's what I hope anyway!

The 50k is a challenge. I'm looking forward to taking it on, looking forward to running with Jenny, to seeing Rob, Steve and Eric on the loops, to seeing other running friends and volunteers. I realize that my race report may include a tale of struggling through the final miles, of a tight chest and gasping breath, of a post-to-post finish. It doesn't matter, because it will also be a tale of another great running weekend that will leave me feeling blessed and satisfied in so many other ways. After all, isn't that what life is about?