Thursday, February 09, 2006

Living in Limbo-Land

Thanks for all the warm welcomes! And for those of you that like my header picture - I was trying to get the whole thing to show, but it must be too big. My husband and son thought it looked cool as it was, so I left it.

I have had a frustrating couple of years trying to learn to run with a chronic health problem. After many tests, the doctors pretty much admitted that they couldn't pinpoint the trouble. I have a defective heart valve that leaks, and opinions were mixed as to whether that is the problem. Consequently, I have boundaries around my running. Run 9 minutes, walk 1. Don't run for more than an hour. Keep your heartrate below 160. Wear a phone. It's been a struggle to settle down within these parameters, and it was very hard for a slowpoke like me to get my heartrate down and still be running. I will be the first to admit that I push the limits periodically, and sometimes I pay for that with a month of poor runs. (Plus, I probably should admit I talk about it way too much, mostly because it drives me nuts!)

Imagine my surprise a few weeks ago, when after a month of feeling sick and struggling with every run, and after a very bad weekend, I finally gave in and went to the doctor again and they said "gall bladder". What? Okay, so I got very excited and jumped to all kinds of conclusions and figured they would take my gall bladder out and all my running problems would be solved. Then they tacked on anemia. Never had that before. Yes, it's true I'm a vegetarian, but I have been for 12 years and have never had a problem. To make this long story a little shorter, I'll cut to the chase. I had a consult with the surgeon today and he is sending me for more testing. Thus, my visit to Limbo-Land. I'm stuck eating a low fat, bland (boring) diet, I'm taking extra medications, and I have three nasty tests in my near future. Then they'll decide about surgery.

It wouldn't really matter, but I'm signed up for a 50 mile relay in April, and I really want to run it. If I'm having surgery, I need to get it done, get over it, and get training. I'm the kind of person who likes to have a plan and know what's going on. I hate, hate, hate this kind of waiting - for appointments, for results and for more appointments.

I know I'm probably setting myself up for disappointment, but I have this little daydream...they'll find the problem and fix it. I'll be able to run a half in early summer, and a full in the fall...I won't have any abdominal/chest/back pains and no limits! Won't it be grand? It's become a joke at our house - "if they take your gall bladder out, then your toe won't hurt!".

Oh, well. How nice is that - second day of blogging and it's a complaining post. I'll end it on a positive note: I had my third great day in a row running! I felt good and strong all three days - I think I'm back in my groove. Plus - how lucky is this? I saw a shooting star on this morning's run!


robtherunner said...

Maybe if I take my gall bladder out my grades will get better, or maybe if I started reading my text books instead of blogs my grades would improve. I can't imagine that Eric is actually making jokes at your expense.

olga said...

Shooting star is good, so whatever it is - will be fixed and you'll be working on your plan. "Doing" vs "waiting and thinking" is my game too.

Ironayla said...

I love to see shooting stars!

Glad to hear the iron is helping out but a bummer that you need more tests!

Look forward to running with you tonight!

D said...

Very nice to meet you. I love your attitude.

Thomas said...

Hi, I came here via Rob. Welcome to blog land.

I saw a shooting star on a long run on Tuesday. Unfortunately it didn't fulfill my wish (namely that the run would be over soon ... it was on the first mile of a 17 miles run)

angie's pink fuzzy said...

welcome to blogdom!

I have gallbladder disease, and actually found that it turned my life around - positively. I lost 63 lbs in one year, and began ruuning - I just finished my first ultra! As long as I don't eat saturated fat or a large quantity of food in one sitting, my gallbladder does not give me any grief (I chose to keep mine). Stress can cause little niggles of pain, but nothing like the back pain, vomiting, etc. that I use to experience.

Hopefully you'll get to find out soon!